Wednesday, August 18, 2010

RELEASING THE SHADOW BEAST

Reading Borderlands/La Frontera by Gloria Anzaldua has inspired me immensely because I too, am Spanish American, and can relate deeply with the authors experience. I have often felt a sense of displacement when I'm around Americans or Colombians. Even though I am fluent in both languages, I sometimes find it difficult to connect with people from either culture. However when my sister and I speak "Spanglish", we clearly understand each other and feel identified with one another. The title "Borderlands" is brilliant because it acts as a metaphor for those who may be trapped in between two cultures, two languages or two bodies. La Frontera is a barrier that splits society and people into two, creating a duality that confuses each and one of us because it imposes the belief that "we are able to be only one or the other" (1020) whether male or female, Spanish or American. As we know the US Mexico-border rejects those who don't belong and controls who enters the U.S. By using this concept of borders, Anzaldua represents the different forms of oppressions that we encounter in the 'Land of Freedom' as well as in countries that were colonized by Spaniards. Therefore, our fear of rejection leads us to unconsciously conform to the tyrannical system.

Anzaldua applies her own beliefs of releasing the "Shadow Beast" into her writing, which I thought to be very courageous and effective. She states, "Until I am free to write bilingually and to switch codes without having always to translate, while I still have to speak English or Spanish when I would rather speak Spanglish and as long as I have to accommodate the English speakers rather than having them accommodate me, my tongue will be illegitimate" (1027). Through this statement she is comparing the language Spanglish to a bastard child not recognized by the law. In her essay, she writes many cultural expressions in Spanish without offering any translation to non Spanish readers. I believe this is one of the ways of releasing the "... rebel in me - the Shadow Beast" (1018) by imposing a new language Spanglish and encouraging those who do not understand, to find out the meaning. In addition, she expands the possibilities of language and the need to unite communities by combining these.

Just as borders, and language are used as means of oppression, Anzaldua also brings up the concept of 'Cultural Tyranny' (1018) which helped me in the understanding of the concept "Machismo". In Latin America, women are expected to play submissive roles encouraging male oppression. I visualized this concept like a hierarchy where the powerful "MEN" are at the top and are the ones who impose a set of laws that are later on transmitted by women to their sons and daughters, therefore creating a vicious cycle in which people keep hailing these ideologies without a choice and without the freedom to question these. Therefore, Anzaldua encourages us to release the 'Shadow Beast'; a rebellious inner-self to escape any restraints that will limit our ability to move forward, to think for ourselves to be free of social dominion. Anzaldua does give women a fourth alternative to break from the three categories assigned to women in Spanish cultures, 'the mother', 'the prostitute' or 'the nun' (1018). Through education, women can escape these three submissive roles and subvert the power structure. Anzaldua inspires us to fight for our freedom and rebel against the oppressing cultural system that 'tames our tongues' (1023) and conflicts our gender, racial and sexual identities. I like that she identifies herself as RAZA (1029) before anything else, which celebrates our Indian roots and would unite all the Latin American and Caribbean cultures as a way to heal the cultural shock that one encounters when coming to America.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

This is my MTA

How am I supposed to call an MTA employee or police officer
When I am fighting gravity in the middle of the wagon?
The MTA employee is far away from me.
If a man touches my buttocks “accidentally” who will I complain to.
When it could’ve been the four men behind me,
While a big sweaty man's breath reaches my nose
And all I can do is look down in distaste.
How am I
Supposed to scream.
When an older extravagant woman in her fedora hat
Stares at me with that snotty face wishing
She could suck my youth?
The four men behind me can’t be blamed.
I mean they are men!
Who is to say perversion isn’t part of their nature.
The real spectacle would be me.
If I would even try to complain about an inappropriate touch.
How am I supposed to defend myself?
How can I release the shadow beast
When I can’t even move?
When time and space is
Maneuvered by the rocking of the train?
When I am in this place due to a greater cause.
I stand right here
Trapped by the system that locks us in a box.
We are the experiment.
NYC is the city of rats.
We are the subjects in NYC.
As the subjects
We are forced.
We have no choice but to squeeze ourselves into this box.
The box will lead us to a final destination.
Before we got on
We were rebellious and sensible beings.
The ride is the vessel of transference.
I see the ads around me
Our infamous “Before” obese woman next to
The “After” skinny woman
Who isn’t the “Before” woman in the picture.
Surgery!
Liposuction!
Again, with the suction.
This ride is meant to drain our lives.
Now the door opens
No one moves
Shhh!
We have been programmed.
We are now sucked into the system
And all we can do is wait.
Wait to get off
Somehow,
We all intuitively know
We are not there yet.